Poorman Ponderosa

And I just thought...

2012-02-28T16:41:00.001-06:00

we were busy before, that life couldn't get any crazier, that I was tired... (pick one, it applies) The saga continues at our house.

We headed to Dallas yesterday morning (second trip for Lollipop and I within a week) for a business meeting and a dental clearance. Well even though I've fielded somewhere around 20 phone calls this morning I am still unsure if we have a dental clearance, and we are headed back to Dallas tomorrow (or tonight)... What?!?

Lollipop's local dentist cannot get her in any sooner than her already scheduled appointments in April for her fillings, but SR can get her in tomorrow. We know she has a high pain tolerance and for her to cry because of the pain that the one cavity is causing is just unacceptable. She's been through so much already and we still have so far to go where walking is concerned. Sooo... I will drink coffee, pray for strength, set up sitters, back up plans and go! Our helper is out sick today, I need to get ready for our third trip to Dallas within a week and we have doctor appointments, upon doctor appointments. But hopefully by the end of Thursday we will have three fillings/cap for Lollipop, new ear pieces for Little Mama's hearing aids, T's breathing distresses will be identified and situated. Wow! That's a lot to accomplish between 8:30 am Wednesday and 3:30 Thursday! (especially on top of everything else -school, counseling, piano lessons) :) However God is God of the impossible. He is our Sustainer. Our Hope. Our Strength. Our???... Mine! My Rock in our ever shifting schedule. My Energy on long drives. My Comfort when I feel pushed beyond my limits.

HE is limitless. He IS LOVE.

All In Stride

2012-02-23T22:43:00.000-06:00

I had no idea how appropriate the devo on self pity would be for today. When I read it this morning, I was planning a regular Thursday. Busy, but doable. So in Jesus Calling today was about running the race before us with endurance and not letting self pity take over because of our challenging circumstances. He is with us every step.

I planned today on:
-school
-counseling
-piano lessons

How it really went down:
-wake up to T asking for a breathing treatment
-phone calls changing L's appointment to sooner date and aligning with Mr. Incredible's trip to D
-call to doctor's office for sick visit, T is warm, coughing, not looking good
-phone calls to see availability of changing a meeting date/time that sooner D appt will cause us to miss
-emails to individuals to let the know status of the meeting
-T needs another breathing treatment (last was less than three hours ago)

-find out Mr. Incredible needing to go out of town today, I will need to pack his stuff and meet to give suitcase, assuming we aren't heading to the hospital with T.
-doctor's appointment with EVERYONE except Little Mama
-send some kids with Mr. Incredible to drop off at next appointments (he takes suitcase too)
-finally see the doc (hour+ waiting, not our regular, she's on vacation). T gets another breathing treatment because doc can't hear lungs due to tightness and wheezing (last was less than 2 hours before). Asthmatic episode, treat at home.
-Mr. Incredible gets on plane and goes far, far away
-samples for 2x day inhaler, script for oral steriods, use xopenex every 4-6 hours (ha!)
-pick up kids from counseling, piano and pick up script. (3 stops)
-need gas (light is not on yet, but it will be soon) stop for gas
-T starts vomiting in the car, nothing to catch it in, no paper towels...
-pick up Little Mama from school (15 minutes early, but I gotta get T home, car beginning to smell)
-clean up the car (J-daddy helped some)
-Z fixes lunch and we all eat (it's 2:30, but the kid's snacked during our running)
-T needs another breathing treatment
-phone calls for setting up follow up visits for L's specialist
-phone calls for letting grandparents know T is ok

and that's just the highlights of what happened from 7 to 3 today. T is resting, some coughing, but has almost made 3 hours from his last breathing treatment and since she said every 4-6 hours...

Mr. Incredible spent Monday night in Chicago on business. I spent Tuesday night in Dallas with Lollipop. We did have last night 'together', if you count me being exhausted, grouchy and going to bed and him staying up working as "quality time". Tonight he's in Green Bay and me? I'm thinking about curling up with a laptop and watching something or maybe just passing out from exhaustion. At some point I'll see Mr. Incredible again, in the meantime I can remember his quip at the doctor's office while we were talking about our current schedule. In a moment of tender nearness as a child lay on an exam table with labored breathing, Lollipop was settled in a stroller and three huddled around a game on my phone, all of us in a 10x10 room and no seats left for him or I to sit. He leans in and whispers, "I am here now I made his conception (nodding towards T)" My whispered retort was, "You didn't make the last three [conceptions]." He smiles and quips, "Some people use prophylatics, we use absence." I busted out laughing, which of course drew the kids attention. Ah, the joy of adoption bringing levity. But if he has to travel and we keep going through these challenges, it's nice to learn to take things in stride, keep our chin up and be able to laugh.

Quick Update

2012-02-23T10:01:00.001-06:00

The SPICA is OFF!!!

She is very weak and has to relearn how to walk. She gets tired sitting for a period of an hour and has to lay down. We have a very long way to go. She will likely limp for 6-12 months (once we are walking) according to the doc. The callous that formed around the fracture can be felt under her skin- it's HUGE. I'm slightly concerned with that... She does show a genetic collagen mutation now. We have NOT been able to start the medication yet. We go back on the 27th for more and hopefully can get clearance to start medication.

Meanwhile, we may have to cancel piano and counseling today since another child is not breathing well and we are headed to the doc for him in a few minutes. He's going down fast.

Other stuff happening today too...

God is at work. I know this. But today is the kind of hang on tight, brace yourself, don't let go and keep your mouth closed so you don't get a bug down your throat or stuck in your teeth faced paced, we are at the races kind of day.

9 weeks

2012-02-22T08:06:00.001-06:00

It has been 9 weeks since Lollipop broke her femur and was put in a SPICA cast. 9 weeks of counting each day. 9 weeks.

Today we will hopefully get the cast off. We picked out a pink outfit and pretty pink panties for the occasion. (for her :)) Hopefully... Hoping... Praying... Desperately needing...

Where I Belong

2012-02-16T19:37:00.002-06:00

What a reminder!

Breathe

2012-02-10T15:46:00.001-06:00

Just breathe.

Trust God in the storm.

His promises are true and he won't forsake you.

In all things give thanks. ALL things.

God will provide.

He knows.

Psalm 103

    Of David. ¹ Praise the LORD, O my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
² Praise the LORD, O my soul,
   and forget not all his benefits—
³ who forgives all your sins
   and heals all your diseases,
⁴ who redeems your life from the pit
   and crowns you with love and compassion,
⁵ who satisfies your desires with good things
   so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.
⁶ The LORD works righteousness
   and justice for all the oppressed.
⁷ He made known his ways to Moses,
   his deeds to the people of Israel:
⁸ The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
   slow to anger, abounding in love.
⁹ He will not always accuse,
   nor will he harbor his anger forever;
¹⁰ he does not treat us as our sins deserve
   or repay us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
¹⁴ for he knows how we are formed,
   he remembers that we are dust.
¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass,
   he flourishes like a flower of the field;
¹⁶ the wind blows over it and it is gone,
   and its place remembers it no more.
¹⁷ But from everlasting to everlasting
   the LORD’s love is with those who fear him,
   and his righteousness with their children’s children—
¹⁸ with those who keep his covenant
   and remember to obey his precepts.
¹⁹ The LORD has established his throne in heaven,
   and his kingdom rules over all.
²⁰ Praise the LORD, you his angels,
   you mighty ones who do his bidding,
   who obey his word.
²¹ Praise the LORD, all his heavenly hosts,
   you his servants who do his will.
²² Praise the LORD, all his works
   everywhere in his dominion.
   Praise the LORD, O my soul.

(NIV 1984) emphasis mine.

Amen

I will not detail our week, our struggles, battles or loss of life (livestock). First, the mere thought of trying to remember the week brings tears to my eyes. Secondly, I am too exhausted to compile the novel it would require. But I am happy. Not because of some circumstance or material possession. My happiness is a choice. A choice to praise, even in the storm. I know that God must be doing some great work and preparing us for something BIG, for this week to have happened. I pray for strength in case the storm is not over. I pray for stamina. I pray I learn the lesson. I pray.

Autism

2012-02-06T16:55:00.000-06:00

I recently watched a wonderful movie, Temple Grandin. I highly recommend it. This movie made me cry, multiple times. In sympathy for the mom, in empathy for the child (or maybe that's reversed?), in the hope it raised for one of my children, and in the fact of all we go through (on a daily basis).

I told his counselor last week that maybe I needed a counselor for me. It's been five months of daily rages, ever since family vacation. I am worn. We have had good days, but no consecutive good days and only about five of them in the last five months. The counselor is so sweet and was such an encouragement. She told me I was a good mom! I know this in my heart, but when a child rages at you and says hateful things, it sometimes gets forgotten. For the most part he really is good. It's his impulse control problems that get him into trouble (many times a day). As he is aging he is also becoming more aware of adoption and is trying to process that and what it means to him. It has come up numerous times in the last few months. (talking about that is a whole other post) Daily, it's hearing that I don't love him because____ (I asked him to get dressed, eat his breakfast, not jump on the bean bag, come inside, stop throwing things at the chickens, do his chores, brush his teeth...). You name it, I've probably "not loved" him because I asked him to do/not do it.

Sensory issues- sounds, touch (especially clothing/shoes), eye contact, tippy toe walking, food texture. These are our current areas of issue as well. As well as certain foods causing an exacerbation of certain behaviors. Change. Schedule changes, changes in routine all can cause issues. The thing we have found that calms him down is joint compressions and 'scratchies' (rubbing, especially his back, with your fingertips quickly). Now getting him to hold still if he is really at it is a whole other story...

It's in these hard times that my strength is not my own. I want him to not have these struggles for his sake. And I will selfishly say I want him to not have these struggles for MY sake. But as I told M&M today, God thinks I am the best mommy for the job. (I just sure hope God knows what HE's doing!) Even in this, God is at work. Helping me know who I am in HIM and helping me become the best mommy for my M&M.

So if your child struggles with sensory issues, autism, pdd or just any sort of daily special need, watch Temple Grandin. It is an encouragement.

Really?!

2012-02-04T12:41:00.001-06:00

We waited most of last year to get over half our tax return because of our adoption in 2009. It cost us over $75 in long distance to fax in the additional 'required information'. And yes, it had to be faxed. The fax just took forever to go through because there is only one fax line for the IRS (or at least for those in the state of Texas). We would get two identical letters, each in duplicate (that means quadruplicate!), every time that there was a delay, and another delay and another and another. Finally when our refund arrived it was slightly more than we expected. Concluding the extra was interest for the amount the IRS held onto for the additional seven months of processing, we deposited it and went on, grateful to finally be done with 2010 taxes. The interest came to about 1.5% of the amount that we were due. Today a 2011 interest earned statement came from the IRS. Yep, they are going to charge us tax on the interest that they paid us because it took them so long to get their act together. And the interest we earned was LESS than the cost of the fax! All I can say is, REALLY?!?!

Sorry for venting. I just know this or similar has happened to many adoptive families. How sad. We have enough adjustments to make without our taxes taking up as much time as a part time job.

Sanity???

2012-02-02T17:16:00.000-06:00

Romans 12:2 (NIV)
"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

Psalms 105:4 (NIV)
"Look to the LORD and his strength;
   seek his face always."

2 Corinthians 5:7 (NIV)
"For we live by faith, not by sight"

Psalms 18:29
"With your help I can advance against a troop;
   with my God I can scale a wall."

Psalms 91:11-12 (AMP)
"For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service].    They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone."

The last five months have been rough. Lately though it's been even rougher and tougher. But, God has a plan in all of this.

I NEED to renew my mind, live by FAITH and ALWAYS seek him.

He doesn't want me conformed to anything but HIM.

He will preserve me (and that includes my sanity).

I may feel overwhelmed, incapable, inept, over my head, but NOTHING overwhelms God. There is NOTHING he is incapable of doing. He is MASTER of everything. He is PEACE.

HE IS LOVE! (So when I am running out, I can get more from him)

Thank you Father for renewing my strength, preserving my sanity, for causing me to trust more in you.

Halftime Opportunity

2012-02-01T18:24:00.000-06:00

I am not really 'into' football, but I am 'into' adoption. For those of you who are hosting a Superbowl party the following is a WONDERFUL opportunity to share about adoption!

Find a sharing guide and download the video here.

Happy Birthday, M&M!!!

2012-01-30T13:51:00.000-06:00


You are such a blessing and challenge us daily. You inspire us to seek God constantly. You are a continual reminder of God's goodness. We pray that you have a blessed day, not only today, but everyday. We love you and are so thankful that God made us your family. Happy Birthday!

Ever Present

2012-01-19T10:48:00.000-06:00

Today started with tears a headache and a 2/3's eaten package of GF oreos.

I found solace in today's entry in Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

January 19th

"Seek My Face, and you will find more than you ever dreamed possible. Let Me displace worry at the center of your being. ... Glorify Me by receiving My blessings gratefully.
I am the goal of all your searching. When you seek Me, you find Me and are satisfied. When lesser goals capture your attention, I fade into the background of your life. I am still there, watching and waiting..."

verses Ps 27:8(nkjv), Phil. 4:7(mess.), Jer. 29:13

(these were just the excepts that REALLY spoke to me, copywrite infringement and such...)

I need to receive my oreo eating children gratefully because they are a blessing. I need to receive my crying first thing in the morning child gratefully as the blessing she is. My attention does not need to be captured by my headache or their actions. God sees all of it (and has provided coffee) and HE will help.

Coming Together

2012-01-18T17:09:00.000-06:00

Some small successes today.

School got done. (by lunchtime!!!)

Chicken feed bought (and we didn't bring home a free kitten).

The Christmas wrapping paper is finally out of my room.

Chores are done.

Chicken is back in pen.

Meeting place has been set.

Monthly deadline met.

Now if I could just get motivated to make a menu and get the grocery shopping done! LOL!

Oh and my 12 year old decided he did want me to his teacher!!! It had been up for discussion. :)

To Praise and be Joyful

2012-01-17T18:27:00.000-06:00

Today I have tried to praise and have joy. Then I remembered a scripture that spoke just of that.

(emphasis is mine)

Isaiah 61

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,
² to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor. ⁴ They will rebuild the ancient ruins
   and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
   that have been devastated for generations.
⁵ Strangers will shepherd your flocks;
   foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
⁶ And you will be called priests of the LORD,
   you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
   and in their riches you will boast.
⁷ Instead of your shame
   you will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
   you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land,
   and everlasting joy will be yours.
⁸ “For I, the LORD, love justice;
   I hate robbery and wrongdoing.
In my faithfulness I will reward my people
   and make an everlasting covenant with them.
⁹ Their descendants will be known among the nations
   and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
   that they are a people the LORD has blessed.”
¹⁰ I delight greatly in the LORD;
   my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
   and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
   and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
¹¹ For as the soil makes the sprout come up
   and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness
   and praise spring up before all nations.

An Example in Christ

2012-01-16T18:07:00.001-06:00

Life this last week has been hard. And that was even with friends bringing meals. We have had the passing of the runny nose. Schedule explosions. Constant care. Days upon days of stress.
As days in casts have turned to weeks in casts and months in casts, I have found myself struggling with anger. (especially since she's in the spica cast) We thought we were getting a little girl that occasionally broke, not constantly broke. I have to keep rearranging my days and plans because we have to get an x-ray, there's an appointment for her, or now the constant care she requires while in the spica cast. Life in a spica cast is immobile at best and embarrassing and painful and those aren't the worst. Every morning we have tears and need pain medication, otherwise she doesn't want it. But the morning is not the only time she cries. She cries if you look at her sternly, if you don't do what she wants, over a toy, she wants to move somewhere, we aren't letting her do the thing she wants (because we are horrible parents and are still trying to teach her to share or go to bed at a decent hour). The tears wear on me. We don't want her to manipulate, but balancing that with her lack of mobility/pain/past, is a continual ballet. Multiple times a day I have to drop whatever I'm doing and carry her to the toilet and clean her up. She doesn't move unless I move her (or she's in the wheelchair, now that we have one, PTL). So I have found myself inconvenienced and angry. As I sat in church on Sunday, it hit me. Jesus was inconvenienced. He gave HIS life for me. Though it was why he came to earth, He could have chosen differently and left me to pay for my sins. How can I complain about the relatively small inconveniences I've endured, even if they are because of our obedience to HIM? I would rather live in obedience to God's call for our family trusting HIM for strength, sanity, endurance, grace then live outside of HIS will and blessings paying a great price for living MY way.
As I was dwelling on Christ's sacrifice, it came to me that He was embarrassed as well. So no embarrassment I suffer, like having a 4.5 year old that is not potty trained, is some "new" cross to bear that HE didn't bear first. He was stripped down and almost naked. All for US. No public humiliation I suffer can compare to what HE did for us. He could have chosen to come off the cross, to not even be placed on it to begin with, but then we would never have a chance to be in heaven. So if Christ could endure public ridicule, humiliation and embarrassment, surely I can get past the embarrassment of children who lack bowel control or verbal control or general self control.
We may not have a routine right now and most days it feels like survival of the fittist, but God has a plan in all of this and if nothing else it is growing my compassion, charity, and ability to not be a perfectionist (really thought I already had that beat, lol!). So we plod on, more slowly with more baggage (literally) and heavy with the weight of a sick child, but we plod. And I am ever thankful that Jesus is right here plodding with me.

On way HOME!!!

2012-01-11T15:54:00.001-06:00

Waking

2012-01-11T10:00:00.001-06:00

After a HARD night we are awake.

Three bites of toast have been eaten, praying they stay down.

Lollipop is being so stoic. We (the nurse and I) finally 'forced' hydrocodone. She hasn't wanted any of the high powered stuff, but the ibuprofen was not enough to be able to get her to want to move, which they want us to do today.

We have had such kind and wonderful nurses, impressed, thankful and exhausted all at once.

Resting

2012-01-10T16:23:00.000-06:00

Lolipop's surgery went well. The rod has been placed in her left femur. Two incisions were made because of needing to rebreak the bone. (encouraging that she had good bone regrowth in three weeks, discouraging that it has taken us three weeks to get the surgery)
She has slept since she got out of surgery at 10:15am with the exception of waking up and losing her stomach contents then before slipping back into oblivion asking where her "ringe" (syringe) was. The Child Life person, a very peppy person, gave it to us to 'practice' taking the "nasty" medicine that we had to this morning. Now the nurses made a big deal about it and so did CL, but in stoic Lolipop fashion she downed it and only winced once. No nose holding needed or breathing through the bubble gum smelling mask, no spitting. She did AWESOME. I can only imagine what she had to swallow in China...
So I've spent the morning with our church's children pastors. Both sweet ladies came and sat with me. We talked about so many different things, but what was recurrent was how God is IN even what we think are less than good situations. This afternoon I've been trying to update the ministry website, finally ended up calling tech support... but now it's fixed. Trying to be productive while I have a chance.
*Note: the doctor just came in and says she's looking good. Maybe can go home tomorrow?! She's going to have to be eating and drinking and voiding on her own before we can leave though...hmm. Doing NONE of that now. Tomorrow may be slightly aggressive... God remains in control and I am thankful that HE IS and I am not.

Headed to surgery

2012-01-10T08:27:00.000-06:00

Lolipop just headed back to surgery. Depending on several factors she will have anywhere from 1-3 incisions to place the rod in her left femur and then get a new PINK spica cast. She will be in surgery for somewhere around 2 hours (I'm quite honestly expecting 3 or more, but that's my pessimistic self popping out again).
I am now in the waiting room, with coffee and the sounds of an aquarium and terrarium. Very thankful that I am the only one in the waiting area (except for the exceptional volunter, she went and got milk for my coffee) oh the little things do make a difference!
We trust in God and thank HIM for the opportunity to be in Lolipop's life, even in these less than pleasant times.

Adoption Recognition

2012-01-07T14:34:00.002-06:00

After a little oops on the part of a misspelled name, I now have the corrected paperwork to file with Vital Statistics. The court has confirmed both of the girls adoptions and with Vital Statistics having the corrected paperwork we will be able to get Texas birth certificates for both girls!

All without hiring a lawyer. God has been good!

No Surprises

2012-01-07T13:14:00.002-06:00

These phrases have rolled through my mind the last couple of days.

"My peace I give to you"

"Do not be troubled, for I have overcome"

"Don't worry about tomorrow"

"I know the plans I have for you"

"I knit you together in your mother's womb"

"Nothing surprises me"

We knew when we adopted Lolipop that she had Osteogenesis Imperfecta. We thought she had only had six fractures, she'd had at least twelve before we adopted her. We didn't know about all the fractures, but God did. God created her in her birth mother's womb. God knew that she would be adopted. God knew that she would become our daughter. So the femur fracture, the three other fractures since she's been home, none of these have surprised HIM.

Sitting and waiting for a doctor at Scottish Rite, I went through all the x-rays and actually detailed which bones were broken on what date. Of course the healing fractures that we were not told about were not among the x-rays. Though I have seen them before, some of her fractures still send a shiver down my spine. The pain that this little girl has endured in her five short years of life.

We met with her orthopedic and endocrinologist/nephrologist. The ortho deemed it best for her to have rodding surgery. I think I surprised his whole team when I said, "Okay, how about today?" Well our imported Chinese daughter apparently needs an imported Canadian part. So surgery is set for Tuesday, but we have to be there by noon on Monday, hhhhhhhh. The last two days have been spent doing our usual things along with trying to prepare for being gone most, if not all, of next week. If everything goes well, we will be headed home on Thursday. (I try not to even think about if it doesn't go well.) I am sure after being in the hospital for three nights and by her side the entire time except for surgery, I may not be in my best form. :)

If any of you will be in Dallas next week and near the historical area and want to stop by, we'll be there. Mr. Incredible will be home with the other kids, we have a sitter scheduled for most of monday and tuesday during the day, so that he can work some. Trying to figure out Wednesday and Thursday still, maybe he might work from home? (since our sitter can only work four hours each day and it takes him almost .75 of an hour each direction to just commute) and the puppy has a vet visit on Wednesday and the boys have piano on Thursday... It just doesn't stop!

So if you feel surprised by a certain situation or feel that God has let you down, remember NOTHING surprises God. He sifts the details of our lives through His fingers so that nothing touches us that won't somehow make us a better reflection of HIM. (not always easy to remember, don't always feel it, but that doesn't make it any less true!)

Happy Birthday, J-Daddy!

2012-01-05T10:40:00.000-06:00

Your are our worker. You get the job done. You are an amazing young man.Our lives were wonderfully blessed by your birth eleven years ago and you continue to bless us everyday.We love you!Have a blessed day!

Wow! Powerful Song!

2012-01-03T18:30:00.001-06:00

On the way to our first OT (at the new place) this played and it so aptly describes where I am, so I found it and thought I would share!<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;nbsp;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>

Getting Ready

2012-01-03T16:03:00.004-06:00

Tonight I leave with Lollipop to once again spend the night in Dallas because we have an EARLY appointment. 4 am or $60 bucks, hmm. I'll choose to spend the money right now. The map is printed, because I am NOT going to get horribly lost like the last TWO times... Something about Google not showing the highway ending and being diverted into the historical district... I have been SO thankful for a 'smart' phone when I have been totally lost in the not so good part of Dallas at 12 am, now it was the google map on the smart phone that got me lost, but we won't go there.

A few days worth of clothes for me and her, our toiletries, some GF snacks, a disc of x-rays, another disc of x-rays and ANOTHER disc of x-rays and a disc of TobyMac are set out to be packed. Now I just need to get activities pulled together for all staying at home. And "freshen up" the activities for her that she can do lying on her back. AND pack all the stuff that I've set out into ONE bag, that I can carry while carrying her. Easy enough, right!?!

I never thought that I would pray that my child has surgery, but I am honestly hoping that the doctor sees the need for rodding her left femur and we can go ahead and get it done. One of her healing fractures when we got her was her left femur... so it was broken twice last year.

Last year..., hard to believe that terminology. We moved, last year. We adopted her, last year. Our lives went topsy turvy, last year. I guess that means THIS YEAR...., hmm, I wonder what God has for us this year. Well whatever it is, I know HE WILL see us through. (though I most probably definitely will not like whatever 'stretching' exercise it may involve :)) lol! Guess my human side is showing through!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T16:25:00.000-06:00

Today has not gone as originally planned, but has been wonderful still the same. Instead of all of us going to church this morning, yes we were going to attempt ALL, none of us went. It is said that rest is healing, so today we have rested, truly rested, and I am feeling somewhat restored. I wonder if this is the calm before the storm of this coming week, but I am not going to worry about tomorrow or the day after or the day after that.

Focusing on our blessings, enjoying the sunshine and thinking of where we will put the garden is quite enough for today. Throughout all of last year God remained faithful and I know that HE will continue to be faithful and today I will simply REST in that fact.

Thank you, Lord, for our children, may we raise them wisely.
Thank you, Lord, for our home, may it be a peaceful sanctuary.
Thank you, Lord, for our food, may it strengthen us to better serve you.
Thank you, Lord, for this day, a new start once again and a wonderful reminder that your mercies are ever new.
Thank you, Lord, for your love, that it cannot be earned, doesn't end and you give it freely.

Praise!

2011-12-31T15:51:00.000-06:00

Lolipop's pain levels have markedly decreased in the last 36-48 hours. We just went 18 hours between doses! This is HUGE! Just a few days ago we were only able to go three hours and still had breakthrough pain.

Being able to get off the narcotics will also help her digestion system to improve.

Thank you to all the prayer warriors. Keep on praying!

BTW, there seems to be something up with blogger and it is not showing my other recent posts. If you look at the bottom of the page, they should be there in the archive.

Making More Room

2011-12-30T21:49:00.000-06:00

The girls share a room and a bed. Since Lolipop got her spica cast things have been a different and this


became this

and there was no room to play and Little Mama was relegated to sleep in the playpen.

Today we discussed the viability of bunkbeds in the girls room, since the spica cast could be on for months, Little Mama is an active sleeper and Lolipop likes space when in a cast (go figure), BUT the proposition was costly -money for the beds/mattresses and the health risks to Lolipop. (Could we keep Lolipop off the top bunk?!) So I prayed and left it to God. In a moment of pure inspiration before bedtime tonight, God revealed another option.

Going to bed in the 'new' bed. Stay on your side, please!

Think of it as a short king size bed WITH matching pillow dividers. Viola'! And it didn't even cost a thing!!! God is good!

Lolipop's 'new' wardrobe

2011-12-29T09:42:00.000-06:00

Having a child with a bar between her legs (spica cast) has led to the need to develop a wardrobe that doesn't need to go up her legs and can accommodate the girth of the cast while still maintaining a decorum of modesty. Since Lolipop is five and has been toilet trained for a number of years, reverting to using a diaper was not an option that she wanted. (or myself either) So our 'panties' are now handkerchiefs with ribbons sewn to the corners to tie them on. And unless we want to wear just a shirt and our 'panties', I had to sew dresses that had the width needed to accommodate the cast and the ease of just slipping over her head, enter pillowcase dresses. So far we have three panties and two dresses. The panties are easy enough, but the dresses have tested me. A pillowcase isn't wide enough and so I'm having to use fabric. So if anyone has oodles of time on their hands or has a daughter that likes to sew, I have project ideas for you! (and even some fabric I haven't had time to make into dresses yet.)

Living for Tomorrow...then tomorrow doesn't come

2011-12-28T20:43:00.000-06:00

Christmastime was promising to be magical this year. Even with my mother in law soon in coming, there wasn't the "stress" that is normally associated with visits with her.

Then 4 days before Christmas, same day as my MIL was arriving by plane in Dallas-2.5 hours away, just as I was leaving to get the last of the Christmas presents, Lolipop snapped her left femur. It happened in an instant right in front of me, just out of reach. Her leg clearly deformed I began calling doctor offices- drive to Dallas or go local, all the while thinking that MIL is COMING TONIGHT! Our Dallas specialist said go local to stabilize, so we did. The day after breaking her leg, after a night in the hospital for 'surgery' to set her leg, we finally get a call back setting up an appointment for the 29th. I was frustrated that it would take so long to see the doctor, but knew even doctors liked having a Christmas (I was trying extremely hard to be patient and understand). Today we got a call saying that the doc has "emergency surgery" tomorrow and we cannot be seen for another week.

I am angry. I am tired. I feel like I am sinking into a depression. The last week has revolved around trying to keep Lolipop comfortable- pain medication every three hours, bed ridden, breakthrough pain, using a bed pan, suppositories. Then there is trying to keep my MIL (who has frontal lobe dementia) on track. I have heard so many times that I look tired from her that I want to scream! Needless to say Christmas lost some (more like a lot) of the magic this year. Because on top of all of that there is the new puppy we got two weeks before Christmas that still isn't sleeping through the night AND we have five other kids who have needs! Z man and J Daddy have volunteered feeding Lolipop, almost made me cry when they offered (thinking about it makes me cry). They did wonderful with her and so has everyone else.

I am going to make some calls tomorrow because of conflicting information that we've been given. Like- if she fractures bring her here (Dallas). And that we got bumped tomorrow because the doctor has 'emergency surgery', but when I called with our 'emergency' we couldn't be seen, since they 'don't do' emergencies. We need prayer. We so need prayer for wisdom and direction and the ability to wait until next week if necessary. I know broken bones hurt and I can understand that being immobilized in a spica cast is uncomfortable, but my daughter who has walked around on two legs with healing fractures (not even healed enough to convince our local ortho to not cast one) and twice walked around with a broken fibula and only once said each time that her leg hurts has got to be in some sort of world of hurt if ANY movement causes her to cry out in pain. The local doc only got the bone about 75% aligned, hence her continued pain, because he thought we would be seen by our specialist in Dallas!!!!......

Please be in prayer that we get answers. Get past the nurse that is stonewalling us. Get help for Lolipop.

From our night in the hospital

2011-12-23T20:27:00.000-06:00

A New Hobby

2011-12-14T09:50:00.000-06:00

On Sunday I looked around at all the women that I have at some point done something with- scrapbooking, ladies retreat, coffee and I felt sad because I don't "do" those things anymore. I want to, but...
So Sunday started an introspection process, why do I not do what I used to? Why do I feel like I am running all the time, especially since right before Thanksgiving? Why do I only get to shower three times a week? (gross I know, but when you don't have the time) Why do I hardly get to blog? Why am I having recurring migraines?
I think I may have figured out the answers! LIFE! LIFE with THREE REALLY extra special kids! STRESS!

I also have figured out why I don't do the things I used to. I am not depressed. (I had wondered) I have a new hobby. It's not one that most people (or any) choose, but others may be in the same place that I am. My new hobby? Doctor Appointments. It's not that we are sick, and I am throwing things like counseling sessions, OT sessions, out of town specialist visits and the dentist in the same pot, but every week we have at least one and lately it's been more like three fairly consistently every week. Now it wouldn't seem so bad if it weren't for that fact that I AM the TEACHER for my children. So being gone for hours with one isn't very conducive to ALL learning, if you catch my drift. So they've been training our new puppy and doing what they can on their own and at some point (maybe soon) I can figure out how to juggle all of it 'cause right now it feels like all I have is just a bunch of dropping balls. Maybe THAT is the reason for the migraines! Too many balls falling on my head!!!!

4, 5, 6, 7

2011-12-08T17:23:00.000-06:00

Today is Lollypop's 5th birthday! Happy Birthday sweet girl! We may have missed the first four and a half years of your life, though we weren't there God was with you and I know that He continues to watch over you.

Today is also the day that we now have a four year old, a five year old, a six year old and a seven year old! WOW! Never planned that! (believe it or not) :)

December is....

2011-12-02T16:26:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving brought my parents and my aunt and her husband to our house. For 9 days we had between 10-12 people in our home, now our family was eight of them, but doesn't 10-12 just sound impressive?

We have had scattered doctor appointments over the last few weeks. The results from Lollipop's? Need more tests, which we started today. (and no the tests can't wait a couple of weeks to happen, kind of concerning...) The results from Little Mama's? Borderline for several metabolic disorders, see them again in six months. Yeah, SIX months...guess it's not anything urgent, at least I hope it's not.

We have had renewal M&M's 'things' approved. Yeah, we got it. Boo, that we need it.

Finally got to meet up with our social worker to get the six month follow up report done for Lollipop's adoption. Still haven't seen the report or added the things I need to to it and it's already three days late, but hey it was an agency assigned worker and short of going and beating on her door I did all I could to contact her when I was supposed to.

Oh, and we lost our dog. She just disappeared one day.

I think that that sums up November and now on to December.

In the first two days of December we have seen 1 counselor, had four piano lessons, are going to two different Christmas parties tonight (child only), currently getting at least three different tests run. Hmm, I think I feel a song coming on.
On the first day of December I ran my children to, one counseling session, four piano lessons and bank deposit thrown in too.
On the second day of December I ran my children to, milk for our friends and family, 3 blood tests running, two Christmas parties, pick up friends for said parties one then two and maybe I can squeeze in catching up with a friend.

Yeah, it doesn't rhyme very well, but who knows what tomorrow could bring!

Thank God for your healthy children, enjoy them, and say a prayer for all the parents you know that have children with some extra specialness.

On Loan

2011-11-20T22:23:00.000-06:00

Life is going at a rate so quickly that I find it hard to spare even a moment to sit and share.
This last week has been filled with several trials. I would ask that you please be in prayer for our family as our dog went missing almost a week ago. We are waiting the result of medical testing on two different children and we have extended family coming from out of town to stay an undetermined amount of time with us.
This was passed to me and it was a great reminder of the trust we've been given and the gift that each of my children are.

On Loan
by Charles R. Swindoll

Read Job 1:21

With Job facedown in worship to God, the only one cursing is Satan. He hated it! He resented Job's response! Of all things, the man still worships his God---the One who would allow these catastrophes to happen. There wouldn't be one in millions on this earth who would do so, but Job did exactly that. The wicked spirits sat with their mouths wide open as it were, as they watched a man who responded to all of his adversities with adoration; who concluded all of his woes with worship. No blame. No bitterness. No cursing. No clinched fist raised to the heavens screaming, "How dare you do this to me after I've walked with you all these years!" None of that.

Instead he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall return there. Blessed be the name of the Lord." That says it all. At birth we all arrived naked. At death we will all leave naked, as we're prepared for burial. We have nothing as we are birthed; we have nothing as we depart. So everything we have in between is provided for us by the Giver of Life.

Get that clearly in your mind. Get it, affluent Americans as we are. Get it when you stroll through your house and see all those wonderful belongings. Get it when you open the door and slip behind the steering wheel of your car. It's all on loan, every bit of it. Get it when the business falls and fails. It, too, was on loan. When the stocks rise, all that profit is on loan.

Face it squarely. You and I arrived in a tiny, naked body (and not a great looking one at that!). And what will we have when we depart? A naked body plus a lot of wrinkles. You take nothing because you brought nothing! You own nothing. What a grand revelation. Are you ready to accept it? You don't even own your children. They're God's children, on loan for you to take care of, rear, nurture, love, discipline, encourage, affirm, and then release.

Praise God for "every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights" (James 1:17 NIV).

Happy Birthday, Mr. Incredible!

2011-11-07T09:51:00.000-06:00

You are my friend, my mate, my love.
I wish you the most happy birthday ever yet and look forward to celebrating many more with you.

What a Weekend!!!

2011-11-07T09:32:00.000-06:00

I need to get our week going so this is going to be short, but WOW what a weekend!

We organized a training for Saturday and it HAPPENED!
I was awake and functional for announcements at BOTH church services!
The dedication of nine adopted children from five families was BEAUTIFUL!!!!
An Informational meeting on Adoption was SUPER informative and the FOOD was GOOD!!!

I really enjoyed being God's hands and feet and facilitating all that happened, but I am looking forward to having a small break :)

This week is the second week of rehearsals/shows every night for a local production, I have been able to tuck my precious children in bed only once in a week. I miss them and they miss me, but after this week... I'll be back to full mommy duty and planning more for Legacy.

I am so grateful that God has given me these opportunities and has strengthened and sustained me, my kids and my marriage with Mr. Incredible. God is moving in big ways and it's fun to see the glimpses!

Locking It Up

2011-10-31T19:15:00.000-05:00

We tried to go without our little blue pill today, been GF, only one piece of candy on Saturday, that only lasted until 9:30 this morning. He couldn't do ANY math. Couldn't sit still. Couldn't make eye contact. Wouldn't cooperate. The list goes on. Oh what I didn't know!

I would love for him to not need his little blue pill. We wouldn't be forcing breakfast, eating a little lunch and then becoming famished. His moods would be consistent, not variable as the medicine wears off. The amount of sleep he needs has been affected since the dosage increase. That is to say, he doesn't sleep very much. He's up until 9 or 10pm easy and is out of bed by 6am. Everyday. We would go back to the yellow pill, but it wasn't helping him to be able to concentrate enough to do school...

I thought I was just a failure as a parent. That maybe I wasn't being consistent enough. Loved him enough. Brushed him enough (special brushing technique). I resigned myself to maybe daily medication was what it is going to take for him to live and experience any measure of success.

While making dinner, we (me and another child) discovered that in the course of two days he's eaten three cookies (at least) there were only nine in the package and an undisclosed amount of M&M's. ~head shaking~
Today is a repeat of so many other days. Too many to count.

We have tried to teach self control. We have tried to communicate the need to ask. We have hid the sweets. We have not bought sweets. We have tried, tried, tried...

Mr. Incredible is currently at the store buying a locking door knob for our pantry. I want a keypad one, but they are over $120. So we will get just a regular one and I will have to wear the key on one of those stretchy things on my arm like you see a manager at a store have...

I don't even ask God "Why?" anymore. This wonderful, thought provoking, irrational behaving, blessing of boy that God brought into our family continuously gives me opportunities for growth, humility, gaining of wisdom, migraines, the chance to be less self centered and now to be a little more like a prison warden. One day, the light will come on for self control, until then I guess we'll keep the food locked up.

Challenges

2011-10-27T15:47:00.000-05:00

If you ever think your life is tough, watch this.

For all that have loving homes, there are so many more that don't.

Little Blue Pill

2011-10-26T16:10:00.000-05:00

So math took an HOUR for a 1/2 of a page. He was hungry during the day. Shrieking and arm flapping along with bouncing everywhere were his modes of communication. So how long did it take me to figure out that he didn't take his medicine? Unfortunately, too long. It was almost noon and after questioning him about any sugar consumption, I then remembered the "gum" that J Daddy found in a straw cup while he was doing the morning dishes. No more straw cups at medicine time... Yeah, it was THAT kind of little blue pill, not the other :-)

So glad that that was yesterday and not today, but it had to wait until it wasn't an all hands on deck kind of day to get posted. Lol!

Tackling Stuff

2011-10-18T16:35:00.000-05:00

I made it my goal today to clear off all the books littering the top of our kid level bookcase and culling through some of the books so that the shelves weren't two books deep... The 18+ inch stack of books on top all have a home somewhere, but a child has pulled the book from a shelf and not been able to find it's home... Now most of the books (with the exception of all the ones on top) are adult books (no not THAT kind :))- ie. marriage, finance, bible study, travel, organization, etc. Books that I have been given, married and paid good money for and have sat on a shelf, some for almost 15 years- those are the marriage ones :) So after an hour+ my shelves are dust free, organized and presentable to the new babysitter coming Thursday. I read a couple of the chapters in the few that no longer have a home in our home and 'got' what I needed to out of them. Only my shelf that deals with parenting and adoption is still two books deep, but I have enough room on another shelf that I could divide and conquer, hopefully.

So sorting out is half the battle, and the other half is actually parting with them... It seems that I can sort and have determination and then the stuff sits in my garage and I then want to reclaim it. It's a dark secret. lol.

But why am I even concerned about having a clean bookshelf when the babysitter comes? I have boxes in my dining room STILL!!!!!

One of the books on my shelf boasts of how to organize your house and your life. It's one of the keepers and I've even read it. The author doesn't have six kids though. This author does boast that your house is a reflection of your life. If your house is cluttered, then your life is cluttered, etc. I can grasp some of this concept, but again the author doesn't have SIX KIDS! lol!

My bookshelf is reflective of my life though. It looks great right now, but within a week (or maybe even a day) a noticable amount of dust will have accumulated. It's easy to be in my comfort zone and let dust collect on my inside. Don't ask when I actually had a quiet time last or when Mr. Incredible and I went on a date. It's something I want to do, but right now I am still living from fire to fire, what is essential gets done (essential being defined as feeding, clothing, schooling, bathing and mothering kids) And just as children rearrange the books on a shelf, I have a tendancy of jumbling my priorities and letting outside issues cloud my judgement. (Like being concerned about a bookshelf and not a quiet time) This is not something that is always in my control. Having to drop everything and run for an x-ray is never something you plan. Neither is a child getting sick, but when it happens how you handle the disruption testifies to your maturity (or lack thereof).

So before I have to run and put out the next fire, I think I might go have a quiet time while the kids are watching cartoons.

Lawyerish Chickens

2011-10-12T17:22:00.000-05:00

Well my trek down to our previous county's courthouse proved to be fruitful, I think!?! After getting a cause number and 'almost' paying the filing fee, the staff decided that I would need to go take care of this in our new county. But wait!... After 10 minutes of praying while standing at the filing counter it was decided that I could go ahead and file in our previous county. So the filing fee was paid and I got a DISCOUNT!!! and I have receipts to prove my 2 hours of effort!

We are currently on the docket for Nov. 16th, our (previous) county's "Adoption Day". (First ones!!!) Now if there are any issues, we won't know until we appear in court, but hopefully, prayerfully there won't be. We will be representing ourselves and as long as the judge accepts our paperwork then it's a done deal. Whether US courts recognize our daughter's foreign adoptions or not is not a super huge deal, it just means that they don't have US birth certificates. So even if some unforeseeable something happens, they are still ours and we will then just resubmit in our new county (and maybe hire a lawyer... :) ha,ha)

Going to the SS office wasn't too bad. I had expected to not even be seen after hearing of horrendous waits and the filing at the District Clerk's office took way longer than I had anticipated, but I still had time before I had to head back home. I waited maybe 5-10 minutes and then was seen by a wonderful, sweet woman. It's amazing that all our Chinese documentation didn't count for anything, but only her US Citizenship and an insurance card with my name. Thank goodness for insurance cards! It's a little scary that they could look up whatever they needed to with the insurance card...hmmm. ((---someone's watching!--- do do do doo))

As I wrote the first three paragraphs M&M had some unsupervised time with the chickens....long story. They are all alive! But, we had to chase two out of the thorny woods and get them back in their pen... The three of us who are scratched up are not exactly 'feeling the love' and so for all of our sakes M&M is having some alone time in his bed. I know I should be with him, but mom has had ENOUGH (for right now).

Within minutes of being home this afternoon (yes, I was out ALONE!!!) Lolipop put a Lego up her nose. This isn't the first time I've had to get a toy out of her nose...maybe I should invest in some of those medical alligator clips. And my attempts at asking why she did it?? Only led to her telling me she did it ~sigh~.

Our washer is having issues as well...

So here's my job title for the day, you know us stay at home moms wear many hats, Lawyerish Chicken Farmer with Medical and Plumbing Experience Associate

Paperwork Time

2011-10-11T17:33:00.000-05:00

I have spent the afternoon making copies of all of Little Mama's and Lolipop's paperwork. Tomorrow afternoon I am going to our (old) county's district clerk's office to file for their adoptions to be recognized by US courts. I have been waiting months for our lawyer to call us back and our friend that is a lawyer wasn't exactly sure how to do foreign adoptions... but, thankfully a travel mate sent out a link for the state of Texas!!! YEAH!!! I have been putting it off for a few weeks, but with the recent wildfires nearby and being out of town when they were the closest, I realized that the only proof that they were ours was in a house that could get burnt. Not good. Since we have never received Lollipop's SS card, I am going (time permitting) to apply for that too! :)

Prayers would be appreciated since I have tried this once before with just Little Mama's paperwork, but didn't have the information or forms (very official looking, that I just printed from the state website! :)) and was told to contact a lawyer... So if your from the state of Texas and don't want to pay lawyer fees on top of filing fees, visit here for the forms you need. I'll let you know how it goes!

We Didn't Do So Good This Last Time...

2011-10-11T10:04:00.000-05:00

I did great at taking pictures. But not so well at posting them while we were in China.
Here's some of what you missed...

Photo Op on our way to the pool

mom! she's touching me!!!

On Lolipop's adoption day

I love my sister!

The "To Do" List

2011-10-06T17:00:00.000-05:00

This was my list for Monday:
-math with M, T- watch video and do A
-IEW with Z, J
-AAS with M, T
-History Z, J, M, T
-Science with J, M, T
-Handwriting Z, J, M, T
-Memory work Z, J, M, T
-Piano practice Z, J, M, T
-call -- about couch
-scan contract, then take to --
-scan time sheet, email to --
-pay bills
     -phone
     -mortgage
     -water for two houses
-call -- about readoption
-menu plan for two weeks
~~-return dresses to X and pick out other cloths~~
-call title company
-call -- about setting up seminar
-call restaurants about food donations for seminar
-call and ask about pool usage at X for therapy purposes
-cancel babysitter
-rehearsal at 7:15
~~-go grocery shopping~~

Tuesday's list never actually materialized, I didn't have time to write it down. Ditto for Wednesday and a last minute three hour spur of the moment get the last of our stuff at our old house. Yeah, dinner was at 10pm...

Thursday's short list
-whatever school doesn't require mom

-T allergy testing @ 8:30
-12pm counseling
-12pm piano
-pick up E @ school
-pick up repaired van
-rehearsal from 6-8:30pm
-various emails and calls regarding seminar and ministry
-get table from old house

Friday's is looking like
-go to dairy for milk, be back by 7:15am
-meet non-profit to pick up furniture
-9:45 M to doctor
-11am close on old house
-get milk now if it didn't happen earlier
-catch my breath and get ready for all day rehearsal on Saturday and small group.

Why I do what I do. :)

Fiery Arrows

2011-10-04T13:38:00.000-05:00

As I plan our church's adoption/foster Orphan Sunday event, the shots being taken at us are closer to home and FIERY! Guess Satan forgot I still have my 10lb. fire extinguisher from our foster care days :)!

Seriously though your prayers are coveted, appreciated and necessary for survival right now.

Answers

2011-10-02T18:16:00.000-05:00

This last week has been filled with so much. A trip to D, our science co-op, rehearsals, scheduling and then the normal part of life as well.

The trip to D this week makes two in two weeks and unfortunately each time while I was gone, a chicken died. Who would have thought that the person that gets lashed out at the most by a certain child, would also be the person most greatly missed by the same certain child. The chicken incidents are symptomatic of the anger and fear that ANY change causes. Hopefully more healing will occur in this area before I have to head to D again. Hopefully. Praying.

We also now have an official diagnosis for Lolipop. On the day that marked her 4 monthiversary with us we found out that she indeed has Osteogenesis Imperfecta. We knew she had this, but getting a US doctor/specialist willing to diagnose it and treat it has been another battle. A four month battle. In the coming weeks we will be seeing an endocrinologist about bisphosonate treatments. We also have to go back to have her cast off. :) Come to find out her right fibula was fractured, again. This makes three fractures in the four months she's been with us and somewhere around 13 in her life (that we know about). It may sound like we are bad parents, but we have no idea of when this fracture happened. However, this is common with OI and one of the symptoms of OI.

Here's some excerpts from some of the literature we have. "OI is initially diagnosed because of fractures that occur with little or no trauma or injury." "There is no cure for OI. The main goal of treatment is to limit the frequency of fractures and encourage mobility and independence."

On the way home, after hearing her diagnosis, I was overcome with emotion (while driving! Why is it always great revelations happen when driving?! lol!). We finally know what the monster in the closet is. We finally know how to proceed and we are not still searching for answers. Though we have identified the monster and know a direction, it still doesn't soothe a mother's heart for not wanting her child to hurt and wanting to make the owies go away.

I have comfort in that God brought Lolipop into our family. He sees the end from the beginning and knows all and sees all. He sees her pain and wants to comfort her, even more than I do. In all of this, God has a plan. But, at least now we have some answers.

2011-09-28T16:15:00.001-05:00

Brush to Berries from Lifesong for Orphans on Vimeo.

"Simply giving this person money is treating the symptoms rather than the underlying disease and will enable him to continue with his lack of self-discipline... a better solution would be to develop a relationship that says, we are here to walk with you and to help you use your gifts and abilities to avoid being in this situation in the future'" (An excerpt from the book, When Helping Hurts)

Lifesong is serving the people of Zambia... the orphaned, the at-risk, and the poor... by utilizing the land that is, like the people, so full of potential. Lifesong farms-Zambia reaped its first strawberry harvest in June, and local grocers have been purchasing the berries. With additional acres to farm, we are hoping to process some of the berries and begin marketing Lifesong Farms Strawberry Jam.

By harvesting fruit, we are able to serve more orphans by providing the gift of a job at Lifesong's gardens and self worth to an orphan's caregiver. We are also able to provide future employment for our kids as they transition into adult living, develop a system to raise funds to help cover operational costs, and develop expertise that can be replicated in multiple countries where Lifesong serves. Most of all, we are seeking to glorify Jesus as we teach others how He walked.

**GIVEAWAY:

1st PRIZE: Lifesong is giving away a 1-night hotel stay for the LIVE ORPHAN SUNDAY event in Kansas City!!! Let me just tell you, this event will be FABULOUS!!!

2nd PRIZE: Lifesong is giving away FREE Gobena Coffee for 1 year - 2 lbs per month shipped straight to your home.

HOW do you enter? Well, I'm glad you asked! There are several ways to enter. PLEASE LEAVE A SEPARATE COMMENT ON THIS LIFESONG POSTING FOR EACH ENTRY, including your email address so Lifesong is able to contact you!!!

1. Share how the Lord is working in and through your adoption/orphan care ministry (1 entry)

2. Re-post this Zambia blog posting on YOUR blog to share what the Lord has been doing at Lifesong Zambia (1 entry)

3. Tell about an Orphan Sunday event you had or attended in the past (1 entry)

4. Tell your plans for THIS YEAR's Orphan Sunday on Nov. 6th (1 entry)

5. Re-post this on your facebook wall (1 entry)

6. Re-post this on your twitter page (1 entry)

7. Post on YOUR blogs, facebook, or twitter and tell Lifesong that I sent you (1 entry)

8. Tell what you think about the 'Brush to Berries' video - what moved you, what stood out to you, what are you excited about? (1 entry)

9. Become a fan of Lifesong on facebook here (1 entry)

10. Send an email to info AT lifesongfororphans DOT org asking to receive our monthly updates (1 entry)

PLEASE leave a separate comment on Lifesong's post for EACH entry, including your email address so they are able to contact you!

***Giveaway starts immediately and ends at midnight on Monday, October 3rd.

Anticipating

2011-09-28T09:00:00.000-05:00

The last two nights I have been unable to achieve that deep restful sleep that we all need. Part of me wonders if it is anticipation of getting answers tomorrow. Tonight Lollipop and I will head into the big city and spend the night before heading during rush hour to another specialist. I am thankful that Mr. Incredible is renting us a car so that I don't have to take the Mama Van (15 passenger) through rush hour traffic. Little van's transmission needs to be replaced :( and is unable to be my ever faithful carriage on this venture. I am incredibly thankful that I will not be needing to leave the house at 4am. Tomorrow will be long enough without THAT too. Yeah, for cheap hotels and even cheaper rental cars!
We would covet prayers that Lollipop could get a diagnosis and could soon start treatment for her brittle bones or that even if there was no diagnosis, if there is a way to treat her brittle bones and strengthen them we would have access to this. There are treatments for children with brittle bones, but they have been inaccessible so far.

Sisters on the red couch at the White Swan

Hello Again!

2011-09-27T12:33:00.000-05:00

Well I could write pages and pages of what has happened, hasn't happened and what needs to happen. However, I don't have boundless amounts of time to write those pages and I doubt that you want to read all that. So suffice it to say life has been extremely busy and I am going to try to get back to posting on a more regular basis!

A Challenge

2011-08-31T16:55:00.000-05:00

Be sure to pause the music down on the right before listening.

Adoption Saves Money!

2011-08-31T13:22:00.000-05:00

If you know me, you know I love to save money.
Anyway, I ran across this interesting article by the President of Christian Alliance for Orphans on how adopting a child out of the foster care system (even a subsidized adoption) SAVES MONEY! Now it's the government who's saving the money, but we all know how they need to :) Enjoy!

All Good Things Come To An End

2011-08-19T23:30:00.000-05:00

It's been a wonderful, interesting, educating, lazy and sleepless week at my parents. Tomorrow we go and pick up Mr. Incredible from the airport and head home. I am not looking forward to the ten hour drive. I already could really use a vacation to recover from this one.
The time has flown and yet crept by at the same time. Reminding me to take nothing for granted, cherish every moment, choose to see the good and above all LOVE.

'If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.'

~1 Corinthians 13

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2011-08-15T22:33:00.000-05:00

Today I had the most wonderful chance to spend my mom's birthday with her (at least the majority of it, more on that later). This is a first in MANY years. Since they don't live close (yet) we don't get a chance to see them often. My mom was diagnosed several years ago with a "terminal" condition. The doctor only gave her 3-5 years to live. Well she has outlived her expected lifespan (by years) and she is getting better! At this rate, she might outlive me!

I am so thankful for the godly influence my mom has been to me. She is an intercessor on mine and my family's behalf. She researches our children's diagnosis' and informs not only herself, but passes along useful information to me. She has taught me how to persevere in the midst of illness, adversity and unpopularity. She is my best friend.

Mom, thank you. I love you.

4+6=12

2011-08-11T18:46:00.000-05:00

Today could be considered a very productive day and yet so unproductive at the same time! Lollipop and I got to go on another out of town doctor run. It somehow has eaten up the whole day. Answers to our most pressing questions were abundant, but no clear diagnosis yet. All tests with the exception of DNA testing are pointing to OI. The DNA testing can have up to a 40% NON-detection rate depending on the type of OI. Types V-VII OI have NO DNA mutation at all. Just in case you were curious. LOL!

On the way home I was one of those crazy people who talk and drive, was handing water and snacks back and looking for a lost piece of paper... I was trying to get a hold of the OI specialist at Shriner's, to no avail. :( I was also trying to let Mr. Incredible know the encouraging news. Thinking that an OI diagnosis is encouraging news probably sounds like I've lost a few marbles, I haven't. Yet. If we can get an accurate diagnosis, we can get treatment and the healing can begin. It is encouraging that earlier in the week she didn't break when she stumbled, but her leg breaking at a second site while in the cast is indicative of a very serious issue.

Lollipop now has SIX doctors and has had 12 appointments in a two month time period. She has more doctors than years in her life! No wonder I feel like I am always running to the doctor!!! 'Cause that's just HER!

Our prayer is that the testing today is the final piece of the puzzle and we can get answers and treatment quickly. We are also praying that the OI specialist is receptive of all the information he is receiving and just because her DNA is negative does not shut the door on her receiving a more aggressive treatment. We pray that all doctors trying to help Lollipop will apply their knowledge skillfully, be blessed by our sweet Lollipop and have wisdom beyond their training. Amen.

Waste Not, Want Not

2011-08-10T10:18:00.000-05:00

We keep hearing in the news about the government's spending. We keep hearing about the need for a balanced budget. We keep hearing about the growing deficit. And yet we just received out third or fourth notice from the IRS about how our tax return's adoption credit refund is STILL under review. (and I know we are not the only family going through this) Now I appreciate them keeping me notified that six months after filing my taxes I still don't have my refund, but it is just somewhat redundant and definitely wasteful to send FOUR letters EVERY time they notify me! Two envelopes with two letters each, that ALL say EXACTLY the same thing!!!!! I am wondering how many jobs our adoption tax credit alone is creating! :) And if the government can charge interest on unpaid taxes, why is it not possible for me to charge them interest on my unpaid tax refund!?!

Mr. Incredible had a very inspired thought the other day, every senator, congressperson, and ANYONE advising the President, and the President need to take the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University class. The key to not going into debt- spend less than you make. The key to getting out of debt- spend a lot less than you make so you can pay off debt. Maybe then we could get our tax return!!!

I receive an e-newsletter that's called Living On a Dime. The following is from yesterday's issue and speaks to the issue of wastefulness, it was submitted by one of her readers.
"In the line at the store, the cashier told the older woman that she should bring her own grocery bag, because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. The former generation did not care enough to save our environment."
He was right. That generation didn't have the green thing in its day.
Back then, they returned their milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled so the company could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.
But they didn't have the green thing back in that customer's day.
In her day they walked up stairs, because they didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. They walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time they had to go two blocks.
But she was right. They didn't have the green thing in her day.
Back then, they washed the baby's diaper, because they didn't have the throw-away kind. They dried clothes on a clothesline, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts - wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that old lady is right, they didn't have the green thing back in her day."

It's so easy for me to get entrapped in convenience and wastefulness , but it does have a cost. As food prices rise, I find myself making our own GF granola bars now to save some money. We eat some kind of legume at least twice a week. I menu plan our evening meals so I know exactly what I need from the store and I'm not guessing. (Breakfast and Lunch are pretty much the same everyday, so not much thinking required there.) I'm shopping once every two weeks and not just running into town unless I can combine errands or it's for one of our many doctor appointments. Hopefully soon (like after the tax return!, lol), I can get a solar clothes dryer (clothes line) since now I don't have to worry about neighbors seeing my clean (or dirty) laundry. :)

If you have some tip on how to save money, I would love to hear it!

No New Fractures!!!!

2011-08-08T15:48:00.000-05:00

This morning Lollipop had a little tumble when stepping down from the bathroom step stool. This afternoon we saw the doc. I am praising the Lord for no new fractures!!! (and not having to go to the ER or a quick clinic or the pediatrician) There is an "irregular" spot at her knee that we will watch the next couple of days, but for today NO CAST!
Their is a lot of back story between the accident and seeing the doc- many phone calls, hard to work with office staff, anxiousness, dread. God has proved faithful though and we are now kind of in with a new ortho, another long story. Rejoicing over friends, faithfulness and mercy.
This morning after Lollipop's tumble and all the ensuing drama, I had a moment of why did we do this? There's easier ways to live, our life was busy enough already... As I stepped out of the doc's office carrying L, the love of God surrounded me and encouraged me that this was HIS plan. (or maybe it was just the heat! lol! :)) He has a purpose in me running to town for x-rays with every tumble. He has a healing for her and strength for me. Now the week overdue grocery shop may not get done tonight, though it desperately needs to happen, but HE is still God and Provider and Sustainer.
Soon after our arrival home we were greeted with a phone call concerning the last of the tests from Children's. Her skeletal survey is consistent with OI and does not show rickets or another metabolic disorder. I am planning on keeping the Endo appointment, but one more piece of the puzzle has been added. The doc at Shriner's will hopefully get this info today and then maybe he might be willing to do treatments other than diet????
But for now, I will focus on the good news of no new fractures and maybe being one step closer to knowing what exactly is wrong.

We Have An Endo Appt!!!

2011-08-05T20:40:00.000-05:00

I'm doing a little happy dance! We see the endocrinologist next week. It took four days to schedule the appointment..., but WE'RE IN!

Making an Appointment

2011-08-04T17:11:00.000-05:00

I used to think that I could call and make a doctor's appointment fairly easily...not any more. Today marks day 3 that I've been trying to get into the Endocrinologist. Still nothing is scheduled, no records have been transferred,... This is pushing my limit of patience. This and having six kids running around and trying to order school stuff and needing to grocery shop and, and, and...

At least I was able to help a friend out today with prepping for a garage sale. Don't know that I was THAT much help, but I tried. I want to support them as they rearrange their life to follow God's calling. They are selling almost all their worldly possessions and stepping off the wonderful, intimidating cliff of whatever God has planned for them. May God be with them and go with them. They are an awesome family.

Well it's after five now, so I guess there won't be any news today on the appointment... maybe tomorrow... maybe.

A Moment of Joy

2011-08-02T12:08:00.000-05:00

As I was on the 70+ mile drive to Shriners this morning with six kids in tow and after having gotten them up at 6am and dressed and fed and leaving at 7:15am, I realized how happy I was. Kind of a strange time to relish motherhood as I was zipping down the interstate. But it happened. I was overcome with a gladness for where I am in life and for how each child brings a special blessing to our family. I don't have to worry about them suffering from the same loneliness I experienced as an only child. LOL!

The news that we got from Shriners was not good or bad, but still inconclusive. The DEXA test, shows osteoporosis, but since her DNA test is normal she doesn't technically and most likely doesn't have Osteogenesis Imperfecta. However there are types of OI where the DNA is normal and so now we are trying to schedule with an Endocrynologist (I'm sure that spelling has issues) and see if the issue is more dietary (diet in China) or are we dealing with a type of OI, or is the brittle bones because of something else... Though I'm frustrated with still not having answers, I have a peace that God is in control and we will find out why Lillyanna breaks so easily. It just won't be today.

Hanging Loose

2011-08-01T16:31:00.000-05:00

Our time as a foster family taught me one thing, be flexible. This week has gone from having nothing going on as of last Wednesday to me getting a filling and M getting two teeth pulled today, picking up E's glasses and registering her for school today. Tomorrow looked a little less busy with just a post adopt social worker visit in the pm. Now we are headed to a DEXA test at 9am at a hospital that's over an hour away and the worker's visit tomorrow. (I might want to clean my house :)) Wednesday looks to be a library work day from 10-4. Thursday and Friday are currently empty, but depending on the results of the testing, they may fill up too!

We did hear back from the DNA testing. It's normal!?! So don't ask me what that means other than Lilly could still have OI, but we would need MORE tests (in addition to the one tomorrow) depending on how the one tomorrow goes and the rest of the results we are still waiting for...

Oh, and we started back to school today. Or as least as well as you can if school begins at 2:30 in the afternoon... We are easing into things- general science for Z, and TT7 for J were what we got done.

Reality Check

2011-07-28T09:12:00.000-05:00

This was in my inbox this morning...

"Yesterday, we received referrals for our families whose dossiers were logged in on July 11, 2006."

These families have been waiting over five years to get and bring home their 'healthy' child.

We were logged in June 2007. We would still be waiting for our 'healthy' child another year, but God had different plans and has blessed us with two wonderful, extra special daughters instead of one in less than four years from our log in date. My life is blessed. I wouldn't have planned my life this way and some days the "blessing" of six extra special kids is quite overwhelming, but God remains faithful. He is the Provider. He is the Healer. He is our Comfort.

Of Doctors, Broken Bones and Migraines

2011-07-27T16:38:00.000-05:00

I think I've had enough of all three.
Lillyanna and I went to Shriners yesterday. We met the specialist that I have been communicating with for almost a year and found out that we need more testing, which of course couldn't happen yesterday. We walked or should I say I walked away with a little girl in a stroller unable to walk for more than 30 feet, two stickers, a stuffed bulldog, all the x-rays and discs that I took (that's a good thing), a free book, the hope of finding the answer soon and a migraine.
On Monday Shriners will set up a Dexa (sp?), bone density test, for hopefully some time next week (at this point Tues and Wed. are out because of other things...). Depending on the results of that test, we may or may not be able to start the infusions. The infusion being a three day/two night in the hospital thing. !!!!! Yeah, I hadn't expected THAT! I had been told (or at least heard) three hours for the infusions previously, not THREE DAYS!!!! Not sure how God is going to work this out. I called my parents on the way home and begged for them to move here. Not counting on it, but it would be nice. :)

Truth Telling

2011-07-23T20:34:00.000-05:00

Telling the truth around our house is a big deal, even if it means you will get into trouble. You will usually get into less trouble if you are truthful... Now we have a child who likes to extend the boundaries of the "truth" beyond what is truthful and we've had to talk about such things like, "Is this something you saw with your eyes or saw in your imagination?", "A worm is not a snake", "The hopping of a bunny is not the stomping of a bear".

This afternoon we got to hear about a how he heard a tree 'timbering' in the woods. (This was when he was outside without having permission, again). He regaled us with how he was just standing there and somewhere he heard a crash so of course we should check around the house... which we didn't. When we left the house this evening, we saw a newly fallen tree and our wonderful son proclaimed in a very surprised voice, "OH, I was telling the truth!!!" LOL! I think he was almost as surprised as us that he had indeed told the truth.

The Casts are OFF!

2011-07-20T15:46:00.000-05:00

What more can be said?!? After five weeks and one day of being casted, she is free! We are free. I bought lifejackets for the girls while "in town" after we knew that she would not need to be recast. Since we've only had her for 7 weeks and two days the feeling of her being in a cast for FOREVER, really isn't quite an overstatement.
I would take pictures, but... her skin that was under the cast is...a little scaly right now and "Don't scratch that" is not one of the Chinese phrases I learned. Imagine a snake shedding...
I also need to say that she did SO GOOD at the office. "This is going to tickle" is another Chinese phrase I didn't learn. So when someone you don't really know comes at you with a saw and says in English, "This is going to tickle." and your mom is holding you down and saying in Chinese, "It's okay, it's okay" to only cry, ain't bad. We started with her arm and by the second side she wasn't even crying!!! I am amazed. God did good in calming her little heart.
X-rays were taken after the casts came off an it looks like she has a second fracture in her right fibula... I just need to try to figure out if it's on the skeletal survey from two weeks ago. The ortho was happy with the callus on it... Maybe we can go 48 hours on US soil without a cast?! I'm hoping!!!!
Gotta run, the "science guy" is coming over for dinner and experiments tonight!!!

A Moment of Doubt

2011-07-19T09:25:00.000-05:00

Standing in my kitchen yesterday after working on getting E enrolled in part time Deaf Ed through our new school district, I was struck with, "It would be so much easier to put the kids in school. We live in a better school district now... I would have more time for the foster/adoption ministry. I could finally have order in the house! After the school supplies and clothes are bought, I would be DONE!!"

Then I went to a local homeschool group's summer meeting (more out of duty than joy) and heard about several families that are new to homeschooling because they were fed up of stuff at public schools! One woman had worked for a school district for 17 years then pulled her son out because they were tired of all the 'other stuff' happening at the school! (and it was one of the "good" schools)!! Ms. V shared scripture after scripture about how kings of the Bible, God fearing kings, would doubt and put their trust in earthly things and God would have to reprimand them.

Well, I would be remiss to ignore that God was trying to get MY attention. That when I do have doubt, I need to trust HIM. When I am feeling overwhelmed about how to school a 7th, 5th, two 1sts, a pre-K and basically a pre-pre-K, I need to trust that HE has a plan for all of this and it's not for me to lose my sanity. Thank you Ms. V for your words of encouragement and scheduling such a wonderful time of refreshment. Like a glass of water to a parched mouth, I left feeling revived and full of joy for what lies ahead.

What's There To Be Scared Of?

2011-07-18T17:21:00.000-05:00

Bumping, running, walking, jumping, sitting, falling, a finger closed in a book, holding, dropping, crying, bathing, sleeping. All of these are things that I am now scared of.

Life has taken on a whole new twist as we wait to see specialists. Any of the above could cause her injury or mean she's injured or are just a pain in the backside because of a full arm and leg casts.

I jokingly told someone that I was suffering from Post Adoption Depression and they said that there is an actual 'syndrome' called Adjustment Disorder Depression (?)! Not that I am depressed, but little things that I used to take for granted now take A LOT of effort. We knew adopting a child with OI was going to be a challenge, but finding out that she has five healing fractures, compressed vertabrae and the broken arm are a little beyond even the challenge that we thought possible. China had told us her last fracture was Feb. 2010. When we got her, she came with documentation that showed the last known fracture was June 2010 (we should have been told about this, because it was before the referral) and we have no date or record on these five others (which are more recent than June 2010)... Meanwhile she's happy as a lark walking around on a left leg with two fractures and no cast and a right leg with one fracture and a cast. I will hopefully have the chance this week to talk extensively with the local ortho about the left leg, his viewing of her left leg x-rays... We might be looking for a new ortho...
As every day has brought challenges, everyday also brings joy. It is these moments of joy that I dwell on, not on what might happen.

Junk Mail

2011-07-12T17:26:00.000-05:00

I keep getting unsolicited email from it seems just about everyone! If I counted it all up I probably have won easily close to a billion dollars. I just have to help someone get it from Nigeria, Afghanistan, Britain... HA! I could get any prescription drug on the planet for next to nothing. Ha, Ha. And I could have any job I wanted or earn untold amounts of money working from home... I am in quite high demand as you can see. So today in an effort to clean up my inbox, I started marking all such emails as junk (you can't unsubscribe to some of them) and now my email is marking ALL my incoming emails as junk! Grr. Technology sometimes you love it and sometimes you just want to leave it.

In Preparation

2011-07-12T08:19:00.000-05:00

I spent several hours yesterday with my back to the kids and my face to the computer screen looking for the best buy on books. We went ahead and started the next history book, The Story of the Middle Ages. I had been tempted to go with a curriculum "set" and yesterday I was reminded why I LOVE these histories. Now we were supposed to get through the Middle Ages and the Reformation this past year, but since our year started with us going back to Creation and we made it through the Romans I don't view it as a loss. There was so much more depth this year, compared to last, even in the midst of the adoption and moving turmoil. I am pretty sure that for American History we will get a pre-assembled curricula, but that's not now and my focus is now and making the most of everyday!
Life with six kids is somewhat hectic. lol! They are all within 8 years and 3 months of each other, though it took us 12 years to get here. Anyway, now with country living, Mr. Incredible working/getting home late (40 minute commute each way), and all the kids, our meal preparation, planning, etc. had become non-existent! Go figure!! But we are now into the second week of a two week menu plan that I concocted. The best part is we haven't had the same thing twice in that time! AND, with the exception of one night we've stuck with it!!! (longest time yet!) I've always had a general idea what we would eat when, but it has never been a written thing. The necessity to write down a menu and have a plan became very evident when the closest grocery store became 7+ miles away (with high prices) and the closest Walmart is 14 miles away; I only have time once to twice a month to do a full grocery shop (3+ hours); Mr. Incredible kept using an ingredient for one thing for another thing; and we kept having the same thing (or really close) EVERY night. I can testify that man cannot live on chicken and rice indefinitely. There are only so many ways to have it before it is done, Done, DONE.
Maybe, one day soon, I can figure out a housework schedule that actually works and a school schedule that never needs to be revised... Doubt IT! Oh well, life is too short to obsess about dust! :)

The Ants Come Marching...

2011-07-08T18:14:00.000-05:00

Can you believe it's a week into JULY already?! I can't. Time is marching on and on. Just like the ants that are invading our kitchen. Those pesky ants first started visiting while we were in China and every three or so days there's a new batch of them marching on the wall. Last weekend we set ant baits. It hasn't helped. Finally in desperation I called the exterminator today. Hopefully next Tuesday will bring some deadly results, to the ants that is.

In other news, Lilly slept in her bed all night (without me too!). She got up earlier than I would have liked, but I crossed the house, told her to lay back down and I curled up on the foot of their bed for another 45 minutes. I keep my favorite quilt at the foot of their bed for this purpose. It's a total contrast to the cuteness and girliness of their room, but with a stuff animal or baby blanket under my head and the quilt over me I can usually squeeze in a few more winks. This is only the second time that she has not woke up during the night since we've been home. (I think) I am so sleep deprived, it may be the third... :)

...just as ants come marching so do the "weights of the world". They're not there one day and the next more and more and more. In essence your good, then BAM! Someone says untruth about you, a car needs repair, the kids whine and whine...(pick a problem) They are always going to come and try to bring you down. But just as you can squash ants, you can cast your cares on God and know that He can squash the problems that threaten to overtake your sanity and HE can bring justice and vengeance. Case in point this post was started this morning when all was good and now I'm seeking God concerning several situations...

5 Hours Later

2011-07-07T13:13:00.000-05:00

We had Genetic appointment scheduled at a "nearby" (3 hour drive) children's medical facility. So Wednesday started at 3:45am in order to make our 8:30 appointment. We decided to make it a "family day" and stop by to see friends we had made in China. Well the appointment went LONG and so the outing to the museum was cancelled, but two trips later to a nearby mall and five kids had Lego mini figures, one had a Build-a-Bear, lunch (my first real meal) was finally consumed and we were headed to our friends.

What was supposed to be a 1-3 hour appointment ended up being almost 5 and during it I had to explain all that we knew about Lilly then we went down for testing (expected). It took two sticks to get enough uncoagulated blood for the tests, she DIDN'T like that. I also got to hear how her left femur and tibia (?) have healing fractures?!? (unexpected!!) and we got to wait while the radiologist conferred with ortho about whether or not we needed to cast (!!), since they are of an approximate age to the healing fracture in her right leg which IS cast!. The other news is that she has compression fractures in her vertebrae and that her scapula (shoulder blades) have been fractured. When the radiologist told me this, it took all I had to hold it together. I wanted to just start sobbing. The pain she has endured... and she doesn't complain. Lilly has such a sunny disposition and is so outgoing and here she is walking around on two broken legs, with a broken arm and all this other stuff! The most frustrating part is China has her last xrays showing a fracture dated june 2010. It is very hard to date a fracture and so we may never know when these newest occurred. The fact that they are healing is good, but also means they've been there awhile. Fortunately, we do not have more casts (as of right now), Rick did famously with five kids and "nothing to do" for five hours and the boys got along great with our friends sons.

All in all it was a good day and by the time we made it home and got everyone in bed and finally ate it was only 11pm!

These were a welcome and easy to fix treat that we took on the trip. I think I might give up buying GF granola bars at $3.23 for 5 1oz. bars and just make 'em! I used 2/3 c. GF rice krispies, 2/3 c. sunflower seeds and 1+ c. of craisens as my fruit and nuts. (my next batch will probably have some allergen free chocolate chips, YUMMY!)

As a note today, I was able to download a free program and view all the xrays we had yesterday and see just what the radiologist was talking about. Kinda cool with my science background and us studying Human Anatomy and Physiology with the boys this year. Though it looks like her left fibula has the healing fracture to me, not the tibia...

We may have to go back for more (very expensive) testing if these tests are not conclusive, so please be in prayer that with all 24 x-rays, the DNA testing and all the other blood tests it can be conclusively determine that she has Osteogenesis Imperfecta or whatever it is that she has that makes her break easy.

One MONTH!

2011-06-30T10:05:00.000-05:00

Lillyanna at a friends holding one of their kittens

Hard to believe that I was on the otherside of the world one month ago and met our newest daughter.

It's amazing what a month can do.

She repeats English phrases, though no spontaneous words except for Mama and peepee.

She walks in her full leg cast, the ortho has asked that we minimize her walking... still working on how exactly to do that since I didn't learn the phrase "Don't walk".

We have appointments in July with the Geneticist and Shriner's.

She's getting used to our horse of a dog.

All is going relatively well as we are fairly easily adjusting to life with six kids. The biggest issues are the arm and leg casts and bathtime (and that she can't go swimming) as well as trying to potty train E. The only other hurdle is my mental state in trying to plan for next school year- A. it's hard to find the time to plan and B. there's so many other things I need to do other than plan next school year.

I am very prayerfully trying to figure out what to put in our schedule and what to take out. We have 12 doctor appointments for July so far and that's actually counting the seven of us getting our teeth cleaned as ONE. So if we don't count the teeth cleanings as one then that's 18 appointments and July only has 20 business days. So if some day I call you and say, I just can't do -----, please don't take offense. That ----- just didn't fit into life inbetween doctor appointments, meet my goals for the school year, or I am just too wore out to go anywhere else. :)

So thankful that God is my sustainer and for that afternoon pick me up cup of coffee!

A Song for Lilly

2011-06-21T17:00:00.000-05:00

Crazy Life

2011-06-20T18:43:00.000-05:00

I have composed so many blog posts in my head and unfortunately that is where they have stayed. Here are some snippets of our life.
-Wonderful friends brought dinner last Tuesday and Wednesday and TONIGHT!
-We have battled an ant infestation in the house three times now.
-Lilly is now walking, with a full leg cast!!!
-We are trying a free trial of Netflix, since it is SOOO hot out.
-We are getting an evening routine down.
-Lilly is still waking up several times at night and the last couple we've just brought her to our bed because we are both exhausted. After getting a cast in the ribs last night we might need to rethink that plan.
-I am trying to wrap my mind around homeschooling SIX in the fall- it's still not going there.
-In my head (once again) I keep trying to come up with some sort of housework schedule that keeps the house clean and me sane. Hopefully that one will make it to paper or sticky notes SOON!
-The first official bath after casts ended up with us having lots of water IN the cast, especially the leg. I don't how it happened other than there may have been a hole in the plastic bag that we used to cover the cast?!? It's finally dry and the hard part didn't soften.
-We go back to the Ortho doc in a week.
-There was a cancellation at the geneticist and looks like we can get in July 6th! (instead of 9/22)
-Our application is in to Shriners.
-New patient info in at a backup geneticist.
-Waiting on new patient packet from July geneticist.
-Countless phone calls for swimming pool, doctor appointments, realtor concerning old house and the 20 acres...
-At some point in the next week I need to take our dying computer to the doctor while it's still under warranty.
***Life is NOT slow, but GOD is GOOD!!!!***

Of Broken Bones and Such

2011-06-15T11:27:00.000-05:00

I will post pictures as soon as I find the camera!. (that's what life is like right now)

Only her right fibula in her leg is broken. Because of the bone curvature when I saw the x-rays at the radiologist it looked like both because of the overlay, but only the one- in her leg. The radiologist and orthopaedist are unsure when the one in her leg occurred. Their thinking is not on Friday, but before (I guess I feel somewhat relived and less guilty).
Her right radius is also fractured. That little fall because of brother...

So we are learning to live with almost 1/4 of her body in a cast, get our days and nights straight and teach her English with five other kids along for the ride!!!

I also spent a couple hours this morning sorting and categorizing the 9+bags of x-rays the orphanage gave us. Apparently Feb. 2010 was not her last broken bone (which is what we were told)...

First 24 Hours Home

2011-06-13T23:11:00.000-05:00

It's been eventful! I called the pediatrician this morning to see about x-rays for Lilly's leg. Five minutes before we needed to leave to go get the x-rays Lilly was riding a little trike in the house and a brother, who was running through the house, plowed her over. So when we got to the imaging place, we added an order for her arm and shoulder (I thought), but then had to get a third order for her lower arm. I got to talk to the radiologist, probably a first among many. The pediatrician told him that she has OI, the nurse had failed to do so. (Call to CPS averted) And the scoop is that she has a healing fracture in her right leg, both lower leg bones. (Yet she can walk! High pain tolerance.) I'm guessing all or part happened on that last step to the pool on Friday and a fracture in her radius on her right arm. The brother was quite distraught and I'm hoping we don't ever have a repeat of that. We see the orthopedic surgeon tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully we can get into the geneticist ASAP after all this. That would put us one step closer to Shriners. Now to try to fall back to sleep.

Conjugated Chinglish and last 24 hours in China

2011-06-10T08:40:00.001-05:00

It's been interesting trying to communicate with Lilly. For one thing the I have to go potty phase she uses is not in any of my Chinese phrase helps, but I pick up the word "yow" and so I ask and then we run to the nearest restroom (usually public). I have had the unique priviledge of escorting her not only to the hotel restroom, but the zoo restroom, the one in the square that's the facilities for a nearby restaurant, the one down the back stairs at a department store, ... I'm calling it, "Tour of Local Facilities" or "The Scoop on Squatty Potties".

Well my mom will be proud of me. The other night I reached the epitome of Chinglish. Elizabeth had fallen asleep and I was holding Lilly. She began motioning and pointing to Elizabeth, so I said, "She shray jowed." Shray jow means "go to sleep". So since Elizabeth was asleep, I therefore made it past tense by adding "-ed", right?! LOL!!! I'm going with it.

We have finally reached the mark of being within 24 hours of leaving the hotel and approaching the mark of being within 24 hours of when we leave mainland China. We are all supposedly checked in online with the airline... not sure where we will be sitting, but hey it's all good! We would greatly appreciate prayers that we NOT miss any connecting flights.

To all the people that have checked for daily updates, I am so sorry that I have failed miserably this time. We have been busy with Skyping the boys, eating breakfast, sometimes lunch and usually dinner, taking care of whatever paperwork has to be done that day, touring somewhere (maybe), bonding with Lilly, taking care of issues at home, getting a few things to give to Lilly as she grows and trying to enjoy this time and not just be bored out of our mind (this has been accomplished through swimming, shopping and foot massages). I know it probably doesn't sound like very strenuous activity, but every night I fall into bed exhausted. We've been here and done that before and so it's not new and exciting. We have been ready to come home for a week (though we couldn't because of paperwork). Rick commented to me today, "We don't do downtime well." Amen to that! First, not used to it. Second, when problems keep springing up on the other side of the world at home, it's hard to relax. And thirdly, it feels like we are warming up for a physical, mental and emotional marathon once we get home and get back to "real" life. I can already tell our life at home is going to be challenging. We jump into doctor appointments the week of our return.

We will see if we need to see a doctor here before we leave or immediately upon our return as Lilly tripped tonight and is now favoring one leg. THAT, is what has typified this trip, this whole adoption. Just when you think you're wrapping things up and all is good... BAM!!! And you're back on your knees begging God for mercy, not wanting any more opportunities to practice patience, tired of being stretched, and wanting to escape to a remote tropical island paradise or just curl up with a book, not during the hours of 10pm-2am... (that might just be me though) in essence-

We saw, we obeyed, we came, we adopted. The rest is up to God.

We are sooooo excited to have our pictures taken.

2011-06-08T08:12:00.000-05:00

BOO YOW

2011-06-06T10:14:00.001-05:00

We have completed our first 24 hours without some sort of tantrum. YAHOOOOO!!!!!!!! Our first day with Lilly she screamed her little heart out when the orphanage staff left and then teared up at bed time . No big deal, to be expected. Since day 2, we've been having at least one tantrum or crying episode a day. From she wants to be carried and how dare you set her down to change sides; to she doesn't want to go to bed; or an I want THAT toy. Other than some occasional little whining over small things today we finally have a break though!

The pronunciation is "boo yow", it means "no, don't do it". The pinyin is not spelled this way and don't even ask about the Chinese characters! :) It is a life saver. I think she may have been catered to at the orphanage and is used to getting what she wants, when she wants it, how she wants it. Sorry, this mama doesn't work that way. I love you, but I have five other kids to love too.

We had planned on going to the orphanage. Even when we found out it was going to cost nearly $300 US we still planned on going to the orphanage. But the tantrums became more, and more and finally we basically had a throw down in the middle of a sidewalk between a restaurant and the hotel. ~ I was carrying Lilly, but Daddy picked up Elizabeth, THEN he put her on his shoulders. Well when I said, "No" to putting her(Lilly) on my shoulders (I didn't want to risk dropping her while raising her because my shoulder was already achy) and I said "no" to daddy carrying her (he had JUST put E on his shoulders), she LOST IT! Some Chinese people apparently gathered behind me.... Kicking and screaming we entered the hotel and went up to the room... (let's just say without corporal punishment mama got the point across that we do not behave THAT way) ~ That was Saturday night. That's when things came to a head. That's when I questioned what HAVE WE DONE!!!! That's when we decided we could not go visit the orphanage. Maybe some day we can come back, but right now our focus is on the here and now and the future, not what happened the last four years and why six fractures or retrieving the album we sent.

I wanted to have the history that we do with Elizabeth. Have the same. Show we love both just as much. But what we have is a little girl who doesn't know that love is sometimes best expressed in saying "no". A little girl who doesn't know the lasting love of a mommy and daddy. A little girl who needs to meet The Balm of Gilead. Our bonding with her has been much more challenging than it was with Elizabeth. She has her own personality, her own way of doing things and her own likes and dislikes. She is a doll and usually is very amiable, but when that invisible line is crossed all bets are off. We also already have videos and so many more pictures than we ever got with Elizabeth. We have her life in pictures (with Chinese text) up to this point that the orphanage sent with her. We don't have that for E's first two years. So no matter how we want to treat them both the same the fact remains that they are different. We have to show our love to each of them differently and meet them where they are, just as Jesus meets us where we are. If this means we never see the picture album we sent to her again, maybe someone else can be blessed by the eight layer heart that I made. God redeems.

China Life

2011-06-02T17:47:00.001-05:00

It's Friday here. I can't believe it's Friday. Time is rushing past
and dragging on ALL at the same time. We are going to the zoo today and
to get the TB test read. Not worried about the TB test at all this
time, her arm looks completely normal. Or should I say as normal as a
curved arm with funky elbow can look! lol!
Yesterday we visited the pearl and jade market and got Lillyanna her set
of pearl earrings, bracelet and necklace that we will give her as gifts
in the years ahead. It's our "big" purchase. And since we had gotten
the same for Elizabeth when we came before, we felt it was important to
continue the tradition. Fortunately, Chinese fresh water pearls are
much less inexpensive than their salt water counterpart and us poormen
:) could afford it. We also toured some of old Guangzhou and a park,
places that we had not visited previously, so that was a welcome
respite. Elizabeth is starting to speak Chinese, not as much as mommy,
but when we left a little shop she blurted out "goodbye" (in Chinese)
without prompting! Elizabeth also got her finger slammed in the closet
door, by Lilly accidentally, last night and that caused a melt down
(MAJOR) for both parties concerned.-prayer request below
Wednesday was filled with paperwork, a medical exam, another picture,
and picking up a few items at the Carriefore. As of June 1, a week shy
of being truly 4.5 years old, Lilly weighs 12 kg= 24.7 lbs and is 93cm=
36.5 inches. So in other words she's skinnier than Elizabeth and
slightly taller. It's tough to get a good comparison of the two side by
side as they are NEVER standing still and usually giggling or singing
while romping in the hotel room or sitting side by side in their almost
matching strollers. Bringing the baby dolls was the best idea EVER!
Both love them or love being little mommies, not sure which, but they
are definitely a hit.
We do have a couple of prayer requests.
1. The air at our house back home is broken and my parents and the boys
are there. It has already been out over a week (it broke right before
we left) and the home warranty company and repair person are saying it's
going to be another two weeks!!!!!!!! I am contacting my parents about
a different option, but they need PRAYER and AIR.
2. Night time is rough. Thursday night was the second night she,
Lillyanna, started wailing, the third we saw signs of distress. Our
guide is not at the hotel at nights currently. GRRR. If you could
please pray as you are getting up in the mornings (because that is our
night) that she would know that she is safe and that we love her and
that it's going to be okay, we would greatly appreciate it. I speak
all these phrases to her in Chinese and English and it does little to
help. Last night offering yogurt calmed her down, the night before she
self comforted, the night before that looking out the window.